The Video that Never Was
by Lieutenant Axel
Summary: Roxas discovers something inappropriate on Axel's computer.  Parody


_(This is a purely "jay kay" story based on a conversation between me and some friends. Enjoy~)_

"Axel! AXEL!" a frightened Roxas called as he ran through the halls of Castle Oblivion with tears streaking his cheeks. "Axel! Please come quick!"

Axel, who had been lounging in the Gray Area and arguing casually with Demyx, sat up from his comfortable position on a couch and looked toward Roxas. "Eh? Roxas-? Are you crying?" upon this realization, Axel jumped to his feet, running to Roxas only to be nearly knocked over by the younger's embrace.

"Axel, it was horrible! I didn't mean to look it up! I swear, it was an accident!" Roxas blubbered.

"E-eh? What are you talking about?" Axel questioned, pulling Roxas off of him gently to allow eye contact between them. "What did you do?"

Roxas took a deep breath, calming himself enough to explain. "W-well… I was playing around on your computer while you were out here… I was trying to look up something cute, to surprise you when you got back… A-and… I s-saw…" he hesitated, his cheeks turning red.

Worried, Axel lowered himself to eye level. "Roxas? What did you see?"

"HE SAW PORN!" Demyx shouted from across the Gray Area, bursting into uncontrollable laughter. "I DON'T BELIEVE IT! That's what you get from surfing the Flamer's computer!"

Roxas covered his face, nearly glowing from blushing so badly. "TH-THAT WAS PORN?"

Axel felt his cheeks heat up as well, more from the mental image of Roxas discovering pornography than being embarrassed. "Roxas must have been so shocked… His eyes must have been the size of dinner plates…" Axel thought, then shook his head to rid him of the adorable image.

"Look, kid, ignore Demyx. He's an ass. Whatever you saw… I know it wasn't your fault." he mussed Roxas' hair comfortingly.

"R-really?" Roxas whined, looking up at Axel. "I feel so dirty, though…"

"Yes, really… Demyx is just being a jerk. It's okay. It's not like you went searching for it or anything."

"Oh… Okay… So, I'm not a pervert?" Roxas said, chipping up a bit.

"No, Roxas. You're not a pervert. Got it memorized?"

"All right! I feel better now!"

"Wait a second!" Demyx put a hand on Axel's shoulder, gripping his sides to control his laughter. "I just have to know… what exactly did you see, little buddy?"

Roxas blushed again. "H-huh?"

Axel, growling protectively, shrugged Demyx off of his shoulder. "It doesn't matter what he saw…"

Demyx smirked. "Well… maybe you could tell me who you saw, then?"

Roxas thought for a moment. "Well, I guess there's no harm in that… It was on Axel's desktop, labeled 'Busted'-"

Axel jumped forward, covering Roxas' mouth and chuckling nervously. "Ahahaha! Who's hungry?"

Demyx laughed, prying Axel's hand from Roxas' face. "No, no, I have to hear this… Who was it, kiddo?"

Roxas blushed, hesitating. "I-It was number 6..."

Demyx busted into laughter yet again. "ZEXION!"

Axel paused, trying to think over Demyx's obnoxious laughter. "Wait a second." he smacked Demyx upside the head, quieting him, then looked at Roxas. "That… wasn't porn, Roxas."

Roxas tilted his head. "I-It wasn't?"

"No… At least, I don't think it was. Why don't you show me what you saw?" Axel said.

"O-Okay…" Roxas whined, leading Axel and Demyx back to Axel's computer.

When the three were situated, Roxas directed Axel to click on the file he'd discovered. A video clip opened up, revealing Zexion standing in the middle of a bedroom.

"Good so far…" Demyx smirked, receiving a well-placed elbow to the stomach from Axel.

Xigbar and Saix's sniggering could be heard in the background of the video, as well as Zexion's complaining and protest. "Do I HAVE to do this?" Zexion moaned in the film. The camera shook from either Xigbar or Saix's laughter. They jeered "Yes, yes!" in unison.

Zexion sighed, reaching to a radio next to him. He pressed play.

The events that followed were absolutely horrific. Roxas covered his face in terror, Axel smacked his hand to his forehead. Demyx stared at the screen, mouth agape in disgust. On the video, Zexion pranced and danced about the room to the tune of Saix and Xigbar's laughter, every so often, the radio loudly screeching "EEEEEY MACARENA".

When the video was over, Axel and Demyx looked at each other, disgusted.

"Axel… I know you're a sick freak and all… but… why do you have this on your desktop?" Demyx questioned.

"Blackmail…" Axel mumbled.

"Shall we exit the window and never speak of this again?" Demyx forced an awkward smile, heading toward the door.

Roxas agreed promptly, closing the window.

As he exited the room, Axel placed an arm around Roxas, hoping that he hadn't been scarred to badly by the Video that Never Was.


End file.
